


For Cars, He Couldn't Care Less

by bruhmoment_jpg (KalesMcD4407)



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Fluff, Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), M/M, Making Out in the Bentley (Good Omens), No real Bentleys were harmed in the creation of this fic, On God this is stupid but it's all I have to offer, Other, Useless Gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 18:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21324910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KalesMcD4407/pseuds/bruhmoment_jpg
Summary: Aziraphale asks Crowley to teach him how to drive. It is later revealed that his request has very little to do with wanting to drive, and everything to do with wanting to spend time with Crowley.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 75





	For Cars, He Couldn't Care Less

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I know this is stupid. I haven't actually written anything since I was like 16 years old, but the Good Omens fandom is so full of talented and incredible people that I felt compelled to contribute. 
> 
> Special thanks to the bloody twittah group chat for providing me with motivation, and also to my lovely friend Gabbi who will likely never see this but was very good at reading this over for me and helping me out when I got stuck halfway through writing it.
> 
> find me on twitter @shitpost_kaley

When Aziraphale first posed the question, Crowley had to double-check that he had heard him correctly.  
“You want me to teach you how to drive?” he asked, bewildered.  
“Yes, I do. There’s no need to act so surprised, Crowley. We have all the time in the world, quite literally, to try new things. Besides, cars have been around for over a century now! Don’t you think it’s time I learned how to drive them?” replied Aziraphale, and Crowley swore he could almost see his earnest expression from over the phone.  
“Oh, okay angel,” he agreed. “But are you really sure you want me to teach you? I seem to recall you having issues with how fast I drive.”  
“Well, I don’t know who else I could possibly ask, dear. But if you’d rather not teach me, that’s fine as well,” he said, taking on a tone of voice that he often did when he wanted Crowley to do something for him, and knew he would end up getting his way. Crowley had never been good at saying no to the angel.  
“Well, I never said I wouldn’t teach you. I’m just a little surprised, is all,” he said, to reassure him.  
“Well then it’s settled!” exclaimed Aziraphale, and Crowley could practically see him beaming from over the phone. “You can come pick me up in an hour!” 

*****  
A little over two hours later in a parking lot that was rather suspiciously (some would even say miraculously) empty for the time of day, Crowley was beginning to wonder if Aziraphale being behind the wheel of his beloved car was a good idea. In the span of the last fifteen minutes, Crowley had already used three minor miracles to protect the Bentley from harm, and Aziraphale was more stressed than he had ever been since they had averted the apocalypse (Well, maybe they didn’t exactly avert the apocalypse themselves. But they were there when it happened).  
“Oh, I’m sorry!” squeaked Aziraphale, as Crowley snapped his fingers to remove a post they had almost crashed into from their path.  
“It’s okay, but if you are going to learn how to drive then you need to relax, angel,” soothed Crowley, his voice not betraying any of his concerns. “Try pressing lighter on the gas pedal. We’re just in a parking lot, there’s no need to go so fast yet.”  
“Crowley, you drive at NINETY MILES AN HOUR in central London!”  
“Well, that’s because I already know how to drive, isn’t it?” teased Crowley. “So, let’s try that again. Just drive around the parking lot once, and park in any spot you like.”  
At a speed much slower than he had been using before, Aziraphale managed to successfully drive around the parking lot, and park the car. Sure, he was parked sideways across three separate parking spaces, but Crowley didn’t even need to use any miracles to save the Bentley this time, which was in itself a small victory.  
“That was good!” said Crowley, as Aziraphale fretted over his less than perfect parking job. “Much better than before. With a little practise I’m sure your parking skills will improve.”  
“I never realized how difficult this would be,” pouted Aziraphale. “I think I’ve had enough for now.”  
At this declaration, Crowley deflated a little. Sure, Aziraphale wasn’t exactly doing an amazing job, but Crowley had been enjoying teaching him. He enjoyed any time he got to spend with the angel.  
“Oh, alright,” he said, his voice thick with disappointment. “I guess I’ll drop you off back at the bookshop?”  
“Actually, I was hoping you would join me for lunch... I was thinking sushi?” said Aziraphale, hopefully.  
“Uh... Yeah. That sounds good,” replied Crowley, fighting to keep his excitement off his face. As long as he was still spending time with Aziraphale, he’d be happy.  
“Of course, I’m not done with these lessons yet,” said Aziraphale. “We will come back and try again tomorrow.”  
*****  
Crowley had been giving Aziraphale driving lessons for a week now, and though he would never say such a thing to his friend, they hadn’t been making much progress. Today, he had driven Aziraphale out into the country so that he could try his hand at driving on an actual road for the first time. Unfortunately, it was going exactly as Crowley expected it would. 

“Oh! Now I don’t think that was entirely necessary!” said Aziraphale, jumping as a truck honked its horn obnoxiously and passed them, rather aggressively, in Crowley’s opinion. 

“It’s okay angel, it happens,” reassured Crowley. “Just keep your eyes on the road, and never mind them.” 

“Oh, okay,” fretted Aziraphale. “Should I turn here?” Crowley nodded his assent, after carefully considering whether or not he was steering them towards an area where people actually lived. Aziraphale most certainly wasn’t ready for that, yet. 

Crowley watched Aziraphale very intently, as he drove. The angel was sitting very rigidly, grasping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. His eyes seemed to dart around anxiously, as he tried to take in all possible hazards on the road. The tension seemed to ooze off of him. If Crowley weren’t a demon, the sight of his anxious, fussy angel trying to learn how to drive would make him feel so soft that he would have no choice but to smile. But Crowley was a demon, so that didn’t happen. Well, okay. Maybe he was just a little soft, not that he’d ever admit it. 

If Crowley had been paying more attention to the road and less attention to Aziraphale, perhaps he would have noticed the red squirrel that had just run into the Bentley’s path. Aziraphale, who had been paying attention to the road did notice the squirrel. He panicked, taking the only action he could think of to avoid it. He swerved, hard. The Bentley zipped straight past the little squirrel, leaving it unharmed, and drove straight off the road, landing rather unceremoniously in a ditch. 

For a moment, Crowley and Aziraphale sat in a stunned silence. Then, very slowly, Aziraphale turned to look at Crowley, dread evident in his expression. 

“I’m sorry, Crowley,” he said, voice shaking just the slightest bit. Crowley stared back at him for a moment, his mind still trying to catch up with what had just happened. Yes. His car, his Bentley, which he had owned and cared for from new (if you didn’t count the incident in which it had blown up), had just been driven into a ditch by his best friend. He took a deep breath that he didn’t technically need, and then spoke. 

“Uh, it’s okay. Tickety boo, or whatever nonsense you would call it angel,” he said, and as he spoke, he snapped his fingers casually, using a demonic miracle to return the car back to the road and restoring it to its pristine condition. Aziraphale turned the car off. 

“I should have never asked you to teach me to drive, this was stupid,” lamented Aziraphale, clearly holding back tears. “I’m no good at this, even after you tried your hardest to teach me every day for a week!”

Crowley sighed and his hand twitched, as though he had considered placing a comforting hand on his companion’s shoulder, but thought better of it. 

“I really don’t mind teaching you Aziraphale,” he said. “But I have to ask, are you sure that you actually want to learn at all? You don’t seem like you are enjoying yourself when you’re behind the wheel, and you never showed even the slightest interest in learning before this week.” 

Aziraphale looked away, avoiding Crowley’s intent gaze. 

“Well,” he said, guiltily. “Now that you mention it, I never really was all too intent on learning to drive in the first place.” 

“Oh. Okay. But uh, why even ask then, angel?” asked Crowley, mystified. 

“You mustn’t laugh if I tell you,” warned Aziraphale. 

“Of course I won’t laugh. Unless it’s funny.” 

“Crowley, I’m being serious!” 

“Oh, okay. I promise I won’t laugh at you, Aziraphale. Now, why did you ask me to teach you to drive, if you didn’t actually want to learn?” 

Aziraphale fixed his gaze on Crowley, effectively pinning him to his place. 

“Well, as I’m sure you know, I have never really cared for automobiles,” began Aziraphale. 

“Yes, I know,” agreed Crowley. “You think they are too loud, too smelly, and that they move far too quickly to be safe.” 

“Quite right. But, you seem to enjoy your car ever so much, dear, and I just thought… Well, I thought…” Aziraphale trailed off without finishing his sentence.  
“You thought what, angel?” 

Aziraphale took a deep breath as if steeling his nerves, and then spoke. 

“Well, I just thought that since you love driving so much, that maybe if I asked you to teach me, it would be a good excuse to spend more time with you” 

Crowley’s jaw dropped as he tried to process what the angel had just said. 

“You want to spend more time with me? Why?” he wondered aloud, after a moment. 

“I always want to spend time with you, Crowley,” admitted Aziraphale, blushing beet red. “I… Well, you’re very important to me, and I love spending time with you, no matter what we are doing.” 

Crowley had never been more grateful for his sunglasses, and the way that they allowed him to effectively hide his emotions. He had never expected to be important to anybody, let alone an angel, even if they were on their own side now. Before he could catch himself, a single tear made its way down his cheek. 

“Oh, Crowley. Are you crying, dear?” asked Aziraphale, softly. 

“No,” muttered Crowley, quickly wiping the tear from his face. “ I’m fine, angel.” He looked away. 

“Crowley, let me see you,” asked Aziraphale, gently. 

Slowly, Crowley turned to face Aziraphale. Even slower, Aziraphale reached a hand toward’s Crowley’s face. He hesitated for a moment, giving Crowley the opportunity to retreat if he wanted to, and then gently lifted his glasses off his face, leaving Crowley’s emotions bare to the universe. 

“Oh, Crowley,” sighed Aziraphale, for the second time in the past few minutes. “I always did love your eyes. I wish you would let me see them more often.” 

It was as if something within Crowley finally snapped, after 6000 years. Without even thinking about what he was doing, he somehow found himself on the angel’s lap, kissing him. Aziraphale immediately accepted this turn of events, wrapping his arms around the demon and deepening the kiss. They stayed like that for some time, before finally breaking apart, both gasping for air that neither of them really needed. 

After a moment of silence, Aziraphale finally spoke. 

“Well, how about we go get something to eat? We can go to the Ritz?” 

Crowley smiled, a rare genuine grin lighting up his face.  
“Sound’s great, angel. But how about you let me drive?”


End file.
